They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
