If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
jump out the window naked night went bad
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
