Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
