we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
