Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize