I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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