I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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