Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Randomize
