You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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