I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
