God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
