and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
