Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
