So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
