Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
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THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize