Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
