we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
