i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
