All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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