he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
