Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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