she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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