i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
