come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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