dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Panties = found
Randomize
