In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
