dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
