my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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