I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize