This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize