States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize