I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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