my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
