Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
