never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
