So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
