I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
