Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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