take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize