Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
