In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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