dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
