I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
