i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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