Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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