If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
