Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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