i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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