Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
