When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
