she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you will always have a special place in my vag
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize