And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
