Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
