I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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