Pappa wants mamma naked
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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