when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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