Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
