it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
